One of our Intermediate classes was asked to write about a dream holiday or a ‘holiday from Hell’ that they had in the past. Here are two of them; one of each.
This time, instead of just reading the stories, why not try to correct them? You can be the teacher.
I’ll help you by putting the errors in colour; Purple means that this word or phrase is wrong and should be changed. Orange
means ‘it’s not wrong but we wouldn’t say it like that’. Can you express this better?
Check your ideas next week. I will show the ‘perfect’ version and WHY it’s right.
HOLIDAY FROM HELL
One night, we went to the club in Sin-sa-Dong, Korea. When we finally got together, two friends of mine knew that they didn’t bring an identity card. In Korea, we never get into a club without it. So three of my friends went to a bar to drink something and one of my friends and I got into the club and dance so exciting. When we go crazy with the electro music, my phone rang and my friends said; “We don’t have any money, please come here”.
I went to the bar where my friends are in and solved the problem of money.
The most terrible thing of the day is a situation that my friends missed their baggage. So, we had to wait for the closing of the club and found our stuff from there. It was a really catastrophe good-bye party.
I went to Egypt. It was the most beautiful holiday ever. I went to Cairo and then to Sharm-EL-Sheikh and back to Cairo. In Cairo I met my family that I hadn’t seen for ages and, of course, I visited the Pyramids and other pharaonic things. Afterwards, I went to Sharm-El-Sheikh where they have one of the most beautiful sea and nightlife. I staied here about 1 week, the weather was amazing (as usual in Egypt). Once the week finally finished, I went back home and had great moments with my family. I also had a lot of fun going out with my cousins. The last day I did some shopping for Switzerland and I finally get back the day after.