The oldest  joke I know is…this little conversation..

1. Did you know my dog’s got no nose?
2. Your dog’s got no nose? How does he smell?
3. Terrible!

It’s not a bad joke and it depends on knowing that ‘to smell’ has 2 different uses. ( You can smell something  eg.’Can you smell gas?’ or something can smell good or bad eg ‘that smells delicious’)

British humour has been a mystery and a fascination for many people in other countries. Of course, there’s a lot of variety in types of humour but some British humour is just plain stupid. We know it’s stupid but we like it – maybe because it’s stupid.

The best known kinds of stupid joke are ‘knock, knock’ jokes and ‘doctor, doctor’ jokes.

‘Knock knock’ jokes have to be done with  someone else to give the responses.  Someone knocks on the door and you ask who it is. Like this;

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Madame.

Madame who?

Madame foot’s caught in the door!… OR….

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Don’t cry; it’s only a knock-knock joke.

There are hundreds of these, you can easily find some on the internet. They are familiar in all English-speaking countries. They all depend on knowing about the way we pronounce things. ‘My damn foot’ sounds like ‘Madame foot’. ‘Boo  Hoo’ is a comic way to describe crying.

‘Doctor, doctor’ jokes have another fixed formula. A worried patient goes to see a doctor who is not very sympathetic.  In these jokes, one person tells the whole joke. Like this..

-          Doctor, doctor. I think I’m a pack of playing cards

-          Well sit down and I’ll deal with you later.

-          (someone deals the cards to each player before a card game. You can also deal with a problem)

-           

-          Doctor, doctor. I think I’m a pair of curtains

-          Well, pull yourself together.

-          ( you pull curtains together when you close them. ‘pull yourself together’ is a fixed expression which means ‘calm down, don’t panic’)

-          Doctor, doctor. I feel like I am a bell.

-          Don’t worry. Try this medicine and if it doesn’t work, give me a ring.

-          (‘give me a ring’ means ‘phone me’, also ‘to ring’ is what bells do – ‘ding, dong)

Well, if you are still reading this blog, maybe you enjoy pain or maybe, like me, you secretly like things that are just stupid or absurd. Liking these jokes is the same as reading about celebrities’ lives; you enjoy it but it’s a guilty secret. Still, the next time someone says ‘knock, knock’, you just have to say ; ‘Who’s there?’.

If you haven’t already noticed the art world has descended on London! With so many excellent exhibitions in town, why not take a break from studying English  this weekend and enjoy these famous artists’ shows:

David Hockney RA: Bigger Picture at the Royal Academy of Arts – Hockney is a famous British artist whose giant colourful paintings of landscapes capture the imagination.

Yayoi Kusama at The Tate Modern – Kusama is a famous contemporary Japanese artist and her dazzling exhibition in the Tate shows off the very best of her current work. Combining lights, shapes, repetitive patterns and bold colours this is truly a unique experience!

Picasso and Modern British Art at Tate Britain – Picasso’s work has entered our minds and our public collections via his ever-shifting example – from cubism, to surrealism, to neoclassicism. Enjoy this collection alongside other famous British artist from the time.

Lucian Freud Portraits at the National Portrait Gallery – Freud’s unique artistic style brings his sitter’s personalities to life and also his style of physically building up the surface of his pictures makes them stand out from the canvas in a surreal real life form. This retrospective of 100 portrait paintings and works on paper brings together Freud’s friends, lovers and other associates, including family members and artists.

Tara x

As I was coming back from my lunch break, I saw the queue of pink envelopes coming out of the post office and right round the corner of Mortimer Street, where UIC is located.   I thought to myself…Valentine’s Day?  No, that was last month.  Easter is next month, so what were all these people doing waiting so patiently outside the post office with their cards.  I suddenly remembered  : Mother’s Day!

But I had forgotten.  So I promptly joined the queue with my own pink envelope to get it out in the last post, first class, so that it would arrive by Sunday – Mothering Sunday.

Normally Mother’s Day or Mothering Sunday, as it is often called, falls on the fourth Sunday of Lent.  It started over a century ago, when servants were given permission to go home for the day to see their families and loved ones.  If they were really lucky, they would be allowed to take a rich expensive fruit cake with them, to share.

These days, most mothers would prefer breakfast in bed – something I used to prepare for my mum, when I was small.  I remember the badly boiled egg, burnt toast and milky tea, placed carefully on the tray, sliding around all over the place as I walked up the stairs.  What mother could say no to that? I’m sure mine waited until I’d lost interest in seeing her delight, and disappeared to play in the garden, before she promptly threw the contents of the tray in the bin.

It’s the thought that counts though isn’t it?

Yesterday we escaped the rain and spent the afternoon exploring the Natural History Museum. This museum not only houses some millions of life and earth science specimens but the building itself is fascinating.

It was designed by Captain Francis Fowke and Alfred Waterhouse, built in the 1870s, and has a number of animals concealed in the architecture. We spotted stone monkeys climbing columns, birds in the ceilings and lizards in the entrances.

There is an interesting display about the history of earth and natural environmental disasters where we got the chance to go into the earthquake simulator. Our Japanese friends thought it was very authentic!

Tara x